Special Reports Personal Collection:
Norris Carden's (www.nuzman.com) e-mail collection of Drudge's Special Reports (5/31/1997 - 1/17/2001.)
XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX 09:09:22 PDT SAT MAY 30 1998 XXXXX
SNEAK: DOWD DOES LEWINSKY
Hot, hot NEW YORK TIMES columnist Maureen Dowd now says that she has
obtained the handwriting samples given by Monica Lewinsky last week in a Los
Angeles FBI office.
"You'll never believe this, but a copy of Monica's scribbles has fallen into
my hot little hands," reveals Dowd in soon-to-be-released Sunday editions.
"Her stream-of-consciousness ramblings are on FBI letterhead -- in a girlish
scrawl, with loopy letters, little hearts and breathless punctuation."
Newspaper insiders have been screaming with hysterical laughter over this
Dowd classic. "I vote it the funniest thing Dandy Dowd has ever written,"
one of her associates declared early Saturday morning from Washington.
A prerelease obtained by the DRUDGE REPORT, with a tentative title MONICA'S
FROWNY FACE, indeed shows Dowd moving it into fifth gear, top down.
Excerpts of Dowd's Lewinsky handwriting samples: "Monica Clinton. Monica
Lewinsky Clinton. Monica Lewinsky Rodham Clinton. Mrs. Big Creep. (Frowny
face.) First Lady Monica. (Smiley face.)... I HATE Linda Tripp! She calls
that a makeover? What a ghoul!!"
"Dear Johnnie Cochran: Can you please, please, please come be my lawyer now?
There was no dress, need not confess!! Or, if the dress doesn't fit -- never
mind, I hate that subject... [Ginsburg] keeps dragging me out to dinner so
the photographers can take our picture. Steak! Steak! Steak! Creamed
spinach! Cottage fries! Onion ring loaf! Doesn't he know any places with spa
"I'm starting to get scared about prison. I didn't find the last scene of
SEINFELD at all funny. I don't want to be buried alive like Susan McDougal.
Her ankle bracelets are sort of sexy, but I look terrible in orange!!"
Dowd does not come up for air once during the 700 words.
"I can't believe Ginsburg made that crack about how Starr had only succeeded
in proving that there had been an affair between consenting adults. HELLOOO!
You're MY lawyer, lame-o! You're not supposed to call me a BIMBO and a
X X X X X
ALERT: 'GODZILLA' FALLS OUT OF FIRST PLACE!
PRELIMINARY BOXOFFICE REPORT
For North America, Friday, May 29, 1998
1. HOPE FLOATS $4.770 OPEN
2. GODZILLA $4.515 -64% $085.821 SINCE OPENING
3. DEEP IMPACT $2.705 -32% $104.631
4. HORSE WHISPERER $2.075 -28% $038.151
5. BULLWORTH $1.375 -39% $014.026
6. GOT THE HOOK-UP $0.950
7. ALMOST HEROS $0.590 OPEN
8. FEAR AND LOATHING $0.520 -53% $006.020
9. CITY OF ANGELES $0.460 -34% $071.654
10. QUEST FOR CAMELOT $0.445 -56% $015.113
11. TITANIC $0.425 -29% $578.061
Dollars are in millions
% denotes change from last Friday
Numbers are moved for private recreational use
THEY'RE RUSHING TO THE PAYPHONES, THE BEAST HAS FALLEN OUT OF FIRST AFTER
JUST ONE WEEK IN THEATERS. PRELIMINARY BOXOFFICE RUNS DO SHOW A TIGHT RACE,
BUT HAVE SONY'S 'GODZILLA' COMING IN PLACE. STUDIO ESTIMATES ARE GIVING IT
TO BULLOCK FACE. AN UPSET LOOKS TO BE DEVELOPING THIS WEEKEND... M DRUDGE,
The REPORT is moved when circumstances warrant
http://www.drudgereport.com for breaks and steaks
(c)DRUDGE REPORT 1998
Not for reproduction without permission of the author